I am really so absolutely 100% glad that I spent time learning about cross border arrest, relevant time, review times, RIPAs and CHIS’s. I am thinking same time next year.
Three hours spent alone, lost in all the things that I did not know.
Update 01:05 hrs 11/03/09. My inner post-mortem has run out of things to say. I just feel like being still and at home for a while. I’m off to bed now. My thanks for all the very kind words and support.
Cheer up NightJack! These things are never as bad as they appear in the cold, dark hours just after the exam. Statistically, we tend to remember only the questions we *know* we didn’t know – the rest (that we got easily) slip through the mind like water. How long till the results are out? I’ll keep thinking positive thoughts ‘twixt now and then. xx
Aye, as Terri says, people often do better than they think in exams. And if you fail… well, there are many greater shames and hardships in the world than that, and there’s always next year.
We’ll all be rooting for you, anyhow.
I know how annoying it is for people to say “I’m sure you did better than you think” so I won’t. But I am confident that if you struggle to pass this exam there must be something utterly perverse about it.
Is it multiple choice or essay questions?
Some time ago now, I thought I’d failed my entire degree, and got a 2:1.
anyway… best of luck, don’t want to jinx it for you.
Remember, even if you do fail, it’s only an exam. I suspect that there are many that have passed, but are totally clueless. Well, that’s what I told myself anyway….
Chin up Fella,
Remember this……………
THE HIGHER UP THE TREE THE MONKEY CLIMBS…………….THE MORE IT SHOWS IT’S ARSE.
Happily on the ground, PRC XXX
Nil desperandum Jack, I’m sure you will be pleasantly surprised come results day…
Keep going boy, you’ll be grand.
Anyways here’s a joke to cheer you up:
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he’d buy her a little something to keep her occupied while he was gone.
He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter.
He explained his situation. The old man said, “Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except—” and he stopped.
“Except what?” the man asked.
“Nothing, nothing.”
“C’mon, tell me! I need something!”
“Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is The Voodoo Penis.”
“So what’s up with this Voodoo Penis?” he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said “Big damn deal.It looks like every other dildo in this shop!”
The old man replied, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.”
He pointed to a door and said “Voodoo Penis, the door.”
The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down the middle. Before the door split, the old man said “Voodoo Penis, return to box!” The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more.
“I’ll take it!” said the businessman.
The old man resisted, saying it wasn’t for sale, but finally surrendered to $738 in cash and an imitation Rolex. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say “Voodoo Penis, my crotch.”
He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the Voodoo Penis.
She undressed, opened the box and said “Voodoo Penis, my crotch!” The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she’d ever experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she’d had enough.
She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.
She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another incredible intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained, “I haven’t had anything to drink, officer. You see, I’ve got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won’t stop screwing me!”
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and in an mocking voice replied, “Yeah, right… Voodoo Penis, my ass!”
The rest is history.
I had to sit an online learning thing last year and I’m sure CHIS’s and RIPSA’s (we add an S) north of the border were mentioned. But *whispers* I can’t remember anything about it now. Oops.
And Punk Rock Cop: “THE HIGHER UP THE TREE THE MONKEY CLIMBS…………….THE MORE IT SHOWS IT’S ARSE.” Hahahahaha. I hadn’t heard that before. It makes me laugh a lot.
On the bright side NJ – being pessimistic means that you are either pleasently surprised by a pass or proven right by a fail. There is no down side!
Who – ever – comes out of an exam (or a job interview, or a presentation to influence management – or even a first date) saying “that was a piece of wee-wee; job done; result secured” ? Only the foolishly over-confident before they learn of their failure. Your scepticism bodes well, IMHO.
When I went through I came out drained and rock bottom, convinced I was the worlds thickest copper who knew nothing – later found out passed with flying colours (who cares about the flying colours – a pass is a pass!) (I am a thick copper who can pass an exam
)
Part 2 the same, came out talked about it, realised how many things I missed saying, all the hooks I missed, vowed never again. Then found out I flew through!
Later took the guvnors exam, thought I was OK – nah defo thick as (!) this time!!
Fingers crossed for you mate
P.S. – Sorry, forgot to tell you great post!
Good luck, indeed.
Luck favours the lucky, NJ.
Hi NJ, I know how you feel, walked out yesterday feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. All I can say is, if I failed, I’ll defo be doing it again next year. Think about some of the dross you know who are sergeants – & I guarantee you know more than a few – if they can pass it I’m damn sure you & I can.
NJ & Redstorm – what’s the answer to the chicken shit q please?
I sat it as well. Not a happy bunny. Hardly any questions where I thought ‘I know that one!’ and loads where it boiled down to the 50/50 guesstimate.
Oh well.
As for the monkey showing its arse, I used to be in management and the saying used to be something like ‘those higher on the monkey tree look down and see happy, smiling faces while those lower on the monkey tree look up and only see arseholes!’
Love your blog Newjack. You and Gadget should write together – I think you would get on famously.
Dem.
p.s. Going ‘c’ was a big mistake. All the don’t knows were obviously ‘b’.